Why You Can’t Let Go of Your Clutter (and 5 Tips for Decluttering That Actually Work)

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Clutter is often easy to spot. It’s those extra items on your kitchen counter, that stack of mail on the arm of your couch or that massive pile of unwashed dishes. What’s not as easy is figuring out how to let go of it. Whatever your mess, clutter can occur for many reasons, some of them psychological.

Find out why you may be having trouble letting go of your clutter and explore practical tips for decluttering that can help you break out of the cycle.

It’s Tied to Your Sense of Self-Worth

If you attach your self-worth to items, getting rid of them might feel like losing a part of yourself or a version of yourself you aspire to become, like a you who wears designer clothes or cooks elaborate meals with fancy kitchen appliances.

This can also come up when getting rid of items that you no longer use but were gifts. Some people feel like they’re betraying the person who gave it to them by giving it away, putting greater emotional stakes on an object.

It’s an Emotional Placeholder

When life is busy, there may be less time to mourn things, whether it be people or times in our lives. If people do not have adequate time to sit with their emotions, they may replace that need with material possessions. Obtaining more and more items can become a way to channel emotions that need to be processed.

You’re Stuck in a Cycle

Having a lot of clutter can lead to feeling stuck and like decluttering is unachievable. This can also be caused by negative self-talk and a diminished sense of worth, as you criticize yourself for gaining this many items instead of assessing the problem and finding solutions. Excessive clutter often connects to anxiety and stress. When the clutter ends up causing or worsening those symptoms, it can leave you feeling stuck in a cycle that seems endless.

You May Have Hoarding Tendencies

Hoarding is a disorder that often requires professional help to work through. It occurs when people are physically unable to declutter their homes, which becomes harmful when it creates dangerous living situations for you and your family. Your hoarding type, such as shopping or clutter hoarding, will affect how you approach the issue.

5 Tips for Breaking Free of Clutter

While mental health issues and feeling stuck can cause clutter, there are still ways to work on decluttering your space. These practical tips for decluttering can help you get started and make the process feel a little more doable.

1. Create Good Habits

Establishing cleaning habits can help prevent clutter. Set aside time every day specifically for decluttering or do daily chores that eliminate those quick messes. Creating a checklist of areas to tackle or tasks can help you create good habits to stick to.

Making the process fun can also help you stick to habits. Throw on some music or a comforting show as you declutter. To integrate smaller habits into your day, try doing any tasks that take two minutes or less immediately. For instance, if you notice a pile of papers that needs to be shredded, do it in the moment rather than waiting. 

2. Determine the Actual Value of Items

It is important to discover why you want to keep an item you don’t use. Is there sentimental value attached to it? Why haven’t you used it? Determine if the reason makes it worthwhile to keep or if it’s something you need to let go of.

Think of your home as a curated space. Each item should have a purpose or real value. It’s your job as the curator to make sure clutter doesn’t get in the way of the items that actually matter to you or make your life easier.

3. Ask Yourself Questions

Do you really use the item? Is it necessary? Would someone else benefit from it more? These are all good questions to help you get rid of things. Try writing these questions down on sticky notes and putting them at eye level as you declutter. This can help you stay grounded in your mission as you evaluate each item.

4. Speak Positively

Negative self-talk makes the problem worse. Instead, tell yourself that you are capable of decluttering and reframe your thoughts about cleaning. Instead of thinking about how much you don’t want to do a task, consider how good it will feel to complete it. Cleaning with a positive mind can help the process go smoother.

5. Address Shopping Urges

It can be easy to get the urge to buy something, even just because you want something new. It is crucial to manage this urge and limit your exposure to your personal triggers — whether it’s a specific social media account or email subscriptions to store sales — that lead to impulse purchases.

Instead of telling yourself “no,” think of this as telling yourself “yes” for something else. Saying “no” to short-term shopping urges could actually be saying “yes” to a more valuable purchase you’re saving for or “yes” to the more relaxed version of yourself that lives in a clutter-free environment.

Learning How to Declutter Your Home

While cleaning your home can feel like a daunting task, it is important to be gentle with yourself and to think about tasks in a more positive light. That way, you can remain motivated and break free of the cycle.

Evelyn Long is a recognized expert in organization and decluttering, dedicated to helping individuals create clutter-free homes and minds. She contributes her insights to publications such as the National Association of Realtors and Tidied by K, while also serving as the Editor-in-Chief of Renovated Magazine. Through her work, Evelyn inspires readers to embrace simplicity and efficiency in their everyday lives.